Just hold on

Shoe Searching

Does the shoe fit? No? Fear not, you're not the only one. I too think that I probably bought the wrong size, or maybe it's just not the style for me even though I like it very much.

All these years, I tried and tried to make it fit. Thought maybe I'd grow out of it but I didn't. Even if I did, I'd end up looking like I took somebody's sky high stilletos. If you know me, I don't really wear heels that high cause it makes me uncomfortable and it's just not me.

It saddens me but what am I to do? Forcing it doesn't feel right. Nor does stopping the search and being content with the wrong pair.

Should I go off searching for a new pair? What about the ones I already bought? Wouldn't it be a waste? I already spent so much on those...

When the going gets tough, the tough get going

Just keep going and doing your thang, Angel. Long gone were the days you felt like a complete waste of space. Those days you thought you weren't good enough for anything or anyone. Just continue doing what you do best.

Sigh

Such an insecure wreck. I just wanna curl up in bed and never get up.

23rd

Who would have thought something like this could happen. Coincidence, maybe? 

But one thing is for sure, choosing to feel this is my choice :)

Random Thought From A Random Soul: Expectations

Expectations. Every single one of us have a certain expectation or standard that we want to be met. Sometimes, it's what drives us to accomplish our goals. Sometimes, it just doesn't. There's a difference between a rational and irrational expectation. Like duh, Angel. You don't say! But you know what? Not many people recognize these differences. And that's why they are often disappointed with their decisions. In this day and age, you most probably have come across stuffs like these:

#RelationshipGoals

#SiblingGoals

#FriendshipGoals

Aren't they aw worthy? I'm not trying to demean, insult or criticize anybody who's into this, alright. But I just feel like youngsters(mostly but not all) nowadays are so into this goals that they're missing out on what's in front of them. So what if you didn't achieve these goals with your friends, significant other or siblings? That doesn't mean your relationship with them worth anything less.

Your expectation versus What they can give. Back then somebody once told me not to expect way too much from others because you'll end up being disappointed, and that's completely your fault.

I didn't really understand that, especially the last few phrases. "...your fault.". Like how is that my fault? You're the one who didn't meet my expectations. You didn't give it your all.

That's what I thought before, not exactly like that but somewhere along those lines haha.

As I have mentioned earlier, everybody has their own expectations. That also means the level of these expectations differ from one person to another. You will never be able to please every single person out there. Likewise, not everyone will be able to please you the way you want them to.

Your expectation and what they can give fully may not be on the same level, but that shouldn't matter as long as they're trying their best.

Sorry for the handwriting. Teehee.

Random Rant 101

It's alright to have your own opinion and to voice it out. Totally okay. You're entitled to that. However, what's not okay is imposing your opinions on others. Do you know what it feels like to be told that the choices you made in life may not be the best for you? It may not be the best but it's not wrong. I know I deserve the best and such but your definition of what's good for me is not the same as mine. We are totally in different pages here. What you guys want for me may not be what I want. The least you guys can do is be there for me. Be it during the good or bad. That's the only thing I'm asking for. I'm happy and content of where I am now but I'm so fed up with feeling like this all the time. You people are making me feel like a dumbass for doing this and that. Okay, so what if I were huh? That doesn't mean you should go all, "Aha! See! I told you so! You should have listen to me blah blah shit blah blah cow blah blah horse blah blah bring the whole zoo here yo!". Fuck I already know that so. Like hello?  No need to be such a know-it-all. That's just plain rude. It's like getting knocked down by a car, and then when you get up and try to walk to safety, some smart alec comes up to you and say, "Hey! You just got knocked down!". Yeah so much for helping me, Captain Obvious. Another thing that bothers the shit out of me is that it feels like you guys are always expecting something bad to happen. What are you people, standby mode of negativity? Hovering around me, reminding me every second of my existence that things can go wrong? Well duh! Murphy already mentioned that haha.